and still I have my weaknesses

Tonight is my last night in Norfolk. I start the move back home tomorrow.

On the one hand, I'm going to miss Norfolk and everything that I've built here.  But on the other hand, I'm looking forward to closing the book on this part of life, and opening up a new one.

Whenever I'd get a new journal, I'd always hesitate before writing on the first page.  I'd always want it to look neat and nice, to say the right thing, to just be perfect.  And now I realize.

It's not how it looks on the page.  It's all about the quality of what you're writing.

So is life.  It's not about how it looks on paper.  It's all about how you're feeling when you're living - or reliving - those experiences.

Next stop, Mechanicsville, Virginia - and Life After.  Wish me luck.  : )

I'll write soon. 

First: I like this new theme.  So much so that I ditched the old one and threw up this one.  I'm not really a "beach" person; I'll go, but it's usually more of a hassle than it's worth - sooooooooooo many other people there, sometimes the waves are just too bad to go swimming in, plus there's that whole if-I-don't-put-on-sunscreen-literally-every-twenty-minutes-I'm-gonna-burn thing going on.  But I LOVE being at the beach (usually late at night when everyone else has gone home), and so I threw this up kind of as an "in memoriam."  My days of living here in Norfolk are quickly coming to an end (by this time next week, I'll be moved in back in Richmond with my brother.  Wow), and so I don't mourn the fact that I'm leaving, I celebrate the great times (and hell, even the times that just plain sucked) that I've had in this area over the past two years.

It's been a helluva ride.  I wouldn't change a thing of it.  Not for any amount.

Second, re: the title of this post.  That's all that I've seemed to have been doing lately.  Thursday night, on my way home to Dad's, I was racing a storm that was pretty much following me all the way up route 30 since West Point (it eventually caught me, and I must have ticked it off - it HAILED at me!).  Friday night, the folks at Southside Speedway raced to get the different division races in before a thunderstorm broke loose.  Saturday afternoon, Carolyn, Christie and I raced around Mechanicsville trying to get various errands done before the black clouds that had been pretty much stationary over the city all afternoon poured down on us.  Sunday night, while waiting for my brother at the restaurant, I watched shoppers and motorists hurry down the road and into and out of stores trying to either race the storm home, or while away its duration with a cup of coffee in the bookstore (where, this time next week, I'll have just gotten off of work).  Then, later that night, I raced down 360 to get back to Dad's house before the lightning caught up with me again.

It's kind of fitting.  Pretty much all my life I've been scared of thunderstorms and the like, avoiding them at all costs.  And now, here I am, actually ADMIRING them as I drive through pounding rain and ponding roadways.  I guess this is growing up. 

I'm having a lot of those moments lately.  I suppose it means that I'm well on my way, and aren't doing such a bad job after all. 

I have pictures from last week, where my long-lost friends Joe and Josh and I hung out and did stuff, but I need to find my transfer cable before I can put them up.  Note to self - keep better track of where you packed what.  It'll help in the long run.

TTFN, got a test to study for and a little more cleaning to do.  I'll be back soon, I promise!  :)

I know I've been gone for a while.  It seemed like everything happened all at once - graduation, then being camped out with my dad for a little while, then back here to start this last class before I move back to Richmond. So now that I've had time to sit down and actually upload all of these things, here's the Massive Update of Epic Proportions.  Luckily for me, most of these can be told with a picture rather than with 1000 words.

Graduation:

ODU 2008 Graduation

Luckily for me, Arts and Letters graduates in the 2 p.m. ceremony, which meant that I had time to get dressed, find as many family members as I could, and then dash over to Webb Center to get my name card and ... stand in line in the North Cafeteria.  For an hour.  Basically, there was a sign with your college name on it, and you made a huge, swooping line behind it until it was time to march.  To give you an idea, Arts and Letters had the line doubling up and back about four times, whereas the other colleges only doubled up once, if at all.  1:40 p.m. came around and we all stepped off.  Out of Webb Center, across Kaufman Mall, where we each stepped on the Great Seal in the middle of the Mall (the local folklore is that if you step on or cross over the Seal while still a student, then you won't graduate on time.  Hence, when you are marching over to the Ted Constant Center on Graduation Day, you step right on it.  It's a rite of passage thing).   

We marched in, and it seemed to take forever. It took me a bit to locate my family members - Mom was just to the left of where I ended up sitting, near the floor, and Dad, Carolyn, Mamaw, Kenny, Robyn, and Jeff were seated way up near the top of the right side of the Ted, up by the Administrator's platform up front.  I was one of the first to graduate.  As much as I complained about having to walk, it was pretty awesome.  One of the best moments of my life, and definitely one I will remember. 

Left to right: College of Arts and Letters begins their processional; ODU Class of 2008 (Health Sciences, Engineering, Arts and Letters); Doctoral and Masters candidates take their seats.

And don't ask me how she did it, but Carolyn has a knack for this stuff.  Chris Matthews was our keynote speaker, and (all political affiliations aside), he gave an excellent speech (I thought). As everyone was filing out to meet up with their graduates and whatnot, Carolyn happened to see Mr. Matthews standing around outside, and quickly went over and got him to sign the graduation program under my name:

Chris Matthews Autograph

... which is pretty bitchin', let me say. 

Old Tyme Photo

Afterwards, Kenny, Robyn, Henry and I decided to go down to the Oceanfront and have one of those Old Tyme pictures taken.  It took us a while to figure out which one we wanted to get, but we finally decided on the Civil War Parlor Scene (the salesguy, who was really funny, gave me a knowing Look when I laughed at the description).  Roby and I donned the traditional Southern Belle costumes, while Henry and Kenny took up sides and arms (for the Union and the Confederates, respectively) and we took the picture.  The guy photographing us was funny as hell.  I'm tempted to go back and just watch people get pictures done just to hear his rapport with them.  The picture came out really cool! 






After graduation weekend was over, I hung out at my dad's house for a bit.  Went up to Mom's house and saw her and the kids (sooooo cute!). Good grief, they're getting so big now!

Lunchtime Antics

From left to right: Grand Stock car missing a door panel after a wreck in Heat 1; Super Street cars ready to take the green flag; #82, winner of the Super Street Enduro race; A mangled Modified car after crashing in Heat 1, Grand Stocks prepare to restart in Heat 2.

Grand Stock - Green Flag

 

Late Model - Green Flag

Super Street - Green Flag

I know I haven't been around much lately, and I'm sorry!  With graduation and being out of town for a few days, with sporadic internet access (basically, dad's phone line is a bit messed up - no idea what's wrong - and so I can only get online when one of the neighbors has their wireless router on), I haven't been able to update like I should.

I'm sorry. Forgive me?  I'm awfully cute. :P

Anyway, more actual content coming soon, I promise!  Just bear with me for another week or two!  : )

Wag of the finger:

• Ongoing construction outside my house.  Booooo pile drivers. 
  
• Gas prices.  It makes just going back and forth from Virginia Beach (not to mention trips to Richmond) a strain on the bank account.
  
• Petty family drama.  Apparently members of my family are backing out of coming to graduation because they can't suck up their pride for a few hours to celebrate the fact that I'm graduating college (finally).  It's kind of sad.
  
• Custody of my sister's kids is going to be decided next week.  We're hoping that they'll stay with mom. 
  
• Packing sucks.
  

Tip of the hat:

Facebook Birthday Wishes

• Tuesday was my birthday!!!!  I came back from running errands to see that my roommates had decorated my door not only for my birthday, but also for graduation:
  

Decorated Door

Decorated Bathroom

• Graduation is on Saturday!  WHEE!  Five years, three colleges, and entirely too much debt, but it was so worth it in the end.
  
• With four of my five classes reporting grades, the lowest one that I have so far this semester is a B.  My GPA is sitting at a 3.5 right now.  As long as my last grade isn't below a B, I'm going to graduate with a GPA over 3.0! 
  
• The weather's finally starting to get pretty and STAY that way. Whoo-hoo, winter is over!
  
• And finally, Jeff and Ted and I had entirely too much fun last night at Red Dog.  I'm glad I have friends that I can be this moronic with. 
  

Just wanted to say THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone who wished me happy birthday yesterday.  :) 

My "things on Tuesday" post will be up later today.  I think I accidentally already packed the transfer cable for my camera ... oops. 

• CONSTRUCTION.  They're starting to lay the foundations (no pun intended) for a new building / parking garage / whatever across Monarch Way from my apartment.  When I say RIGHT across from my apartment, I mean RIGHT.  Across.  From my apartment.  Those pictures were from my bedroom window.  It's one thing to hear a pile driver while you're taking an exam in class; it's another thing completely to be woken up by one shaking your bed in the morning.  Rawr.
  
• Finding out I have an exam Thursday morning at 8:30 in the morning.  Boooooo.  I'm not sure my brain will be functioning by then. 
  
• Packing.  I hate packing.  But it's something that has to be done. 
  
• Whoever lives next door deciding to test out his subwoofer with the loudest, most obnoxious rap music possible for three hours and counting.
  
• Having a headache for most of the day.
• Gas prices (but that's a general complaint among everyone these days, I think).
• The batteries in my camera dying so I could only get about three pictures today.  Boooooooo. 
  

Tip of the hat:

Pretty Day

• It was gorgeous out today!  Stark contrast to yesterday's tornado outbreak. 
  
• Classes are finally over!  I'm that much closer to being an actual alumna! 
  
• I only have two finals, and they're both on Thursday, so with the exception of a presentation on Monday night, I'm essentially free after Thursday.
  
• The race is this weekend in Richmond!  Whoo-hoo!  And that means ...
  
• I get to go to my dad's to watch the race with him and see my babies:
  

They're so precious.

• And today marks a week until my 23rd birthday.  Woot woot. 
  

... but there ain't no way the country's comin' outta the girl.

There are a few surefire ways you know I've got a bit of the redneck in me -

• The numbers 24, 48, 2, and 18 invoke a kind of irritation never seen before in me.
• I get giddy when the pre-race coverage starts
• The first weekend in May doesn't signify graduation, or even my birthday - IT'S RACE WEEKEND IN RICHMOND!
• I lament the fact that Speed channel isn't on the school-supplied cable
• I find myself saying "boogity boogity boogity!" when on the interstate.

In Memoriam 4-16-2007

April 16 will never again be "just another day."  It has joined the ranks of memory and infamy, much like the dates of December 7, 1941; and September 11, 2001. 

I can remember being in middle school when the shooting at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado happened.  TV crews and somber correspondents descended on the school and surrounding area, newspapers and magazines ran photo after photo, as if we weren't already familiar enough with the horrific scene that had played out within those walls days ago.  School systems all around the country swung into action, creating new crisis plans that, until this point, had not included this particular scenario. 

And all the while, we watched.

We watched as survivors ran from the building, hands over their heads, while police officers covered them with guns, dressed in SWAT gear.

We watched the joy as students reunited with parents, friends, and classmates. 

We watched that joy turn to unbearable sorrow as those who had been killed began to be realized. 

We watched as the victims - and the shooters - ceased to be nameless, faceless students, and became daughters and sons, brothers and sisters.  Each with a name, each with a smiling face, each with hopes and goals and aspirations.

We watched as crosses were erected for each of the victims - including, to the outrage of some, one for each of the shooters.

And we watched, as in August of that same year, the students of Columbine High School marched back into the building where so much had been lost, and took back their school amid the pain and sorrow and all that had been suffered on that April day.

"We will prevail. We will prevail. We will prevail."

Today, we will look back once again and remember.  We will remember how we heard of this tragedy, we will remember where we were when we first heard of what was unfolding on the Blacksburg campus.

We will remember frantic phone calls, text messages, and emails sent, asking friends and family members to assure us of their safety.  We will remember the wave of relief we felt when we heard back from them, and the crushing pain when avenues of communication remained silent.

We will remember being removed witnesses of these events, watching from televisions, web streams.  We will remember opening the paper over the next few days to horrifying pictures, somber text, and finally, a memorial page with thirty-two names and faces.  All smiling.

We will pull out our Virginia Tech apparel, we will pin maroon and orange pins to our lapels and we will stand silent and somber at noon as silence spreads across the state, heads are bowed, and tears are shed.

We will remember the words of Virginia Tech professor Nikki Giovanni, proud and strong in a time of one of the worst crises in the history of the state, ringing out with words of tribute and healing - "We are Virginia Tech."

We will remember the unity of nearly all college students across the nation, loudly proclaiming that "today, we are all Hokies."

But most of all, most importantly:
Today we will remember those who were lost. 

In Their Honor